Here’s to Fur Bikinis

December 6, 2011 in Advice/Wisdom, Blog, Politics with 0 Comments

Gotta love it!

How good the guys have it in America, where women are cherished and encouraged to be themselves, even to the point of being sexually “liberated.”  There are cultures where if a woman is dressed “provocatively,” she is to blame if someone rapes her.  This post is for all the men out there who live in these cultures.

You announce your great fear of the fairer sex every time you lay a violent hand on a woman or girl.  When you blame her, cover her up, hide her, make her second class, you not only shoot yourself in the foot, you shoot yourself in the heart.  You have no idea what you are missing out on in life.  You will never know the sheer pleasure of touching a woman whom you hold in great esteem as an equal.  You will never know what it means to be in love and to have that love returned to you in spades. You will never know what it feels like to love a woman so much that your heart breaks into a million pieces when she leaves you, because you loved her despite the fact that she was always free to go.

The Fur bikini

I just watched an episode of Flying Wild Alaska.  The unwitting star of the show (Ariel Tweto) is an adorable young lady who is learning to fly tiny little airplanes in super crazy conditions.  She is still very innocent. Joy radiates from her angelic face even as she lets the F-word fly during a questionable landing. She and her very cute sister (Ayla) head to Nome, Alaska for the finish of the Iditerod – to cheer on the mushers as they finish the great race.  They are goofy, happy girls.  They wrestled to see which one would get to wear the fur bikini.  The winner gets to slip out of her massive down parka just as the musher goes by and flash him some furry fun and a little skin.  It’s totally G-rated.  I mean, this is America where there is only one truly accepted means of getting Mardi Gras beads in New Orleans.

The French take it one step further. French society appreciates women and their naked breasts all summer long on the beaches. When we celebrate women, men get it good.

We have a saying in America – “Ain’t mama happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  To the degree to which a woman is loved, cherished, and encouraged to be free, her man will reap reward. He reaps this reward in many different forms, some of which are yummy food, smiles, warmth, conversation, and fun things I shan’t mention here.

There are cultures where the flashing of the fur bikini would get a woman stoned to death. In our culture, men can handle this. In fact, they can really enjoy it. He doesn’t have to assault the girl and then blame her for his lack of control.

I really can’t even fathom a culture in which it is normal and expected for women to be beaten and belittled. These sisters of mine will never know freedom, love, getting to be a little crazy, what it is to have a loving family, and neither will the men.

Here’s to fur bikinis. I think all women should have one and that all men should get to be flashed now and then.

Please forward this to everyone you know who lives in a country where women are publicly stoned to death, wear burkas, can’t drive, or don’t get to vote.

6 Organic foods that Help Detoxify your Body

December 2, 2011 in Advice/Wisdom, Blog, Natural Living with 2 Comments

A featured Guest Post by Carolyn Holden

The key to a life filled with more energy and less illness

I’m part of a family that’s concerned about the environment, holistic health, and healthy parenting. When I finally decided to return back to the basics—by raising my family in natural, safe, green environment, I had just returned from a cosmetic dentist in my hometown of Katy, Texas. I was told the surface of my teeth had become tacky and I had a lot of tooth decay and may need a root canal. I left the dentist depressed and dreading returning in 2 weeks to have my mouth invaded. However, I took the next 2-weeks and decided to detox in preparation of my oral health going forward. Low and behold, when I returned to the dentist, my tooth decay had considerably lessened (I still did however need 1 filled) and my tooth enamel appeared stronger and less tacky.

Hard Road

I knew going forward that I had a hard road of opposition ahead of me and my family going organic. Everywhere I turn, the television is shoving another toxic cleaning product or food full of preservatives down my throat. However, it’s my true belief that when it comes to being truly healthy, we need to take a step back to eating organic foods and banishing chemical cleaning products from our homes. As mentioned, I decided to take my family down this road 3 years ago, and there’s hardly been an illness in my home since—even my dog is the picture of health. When it comes to detoxifying your body—either due to indulgence or an illness—going organic is the best method. Look to Mother Nature for the following 6 organic foods that detoxify the body and taste great in various dishes and as quick snacks:

1. Fresh organic fruits

Think about it for a second; fruits like berries, melons and even apples are very high in liquid-content. However, what happens if fruit was sprayed with chemicals to help it grow large and shiny? It has to absorb a lot of those chemicals, right? Well, according to Eating Well Magazine and the Environmental Working Group (EWG) chemical residues do get absorbed into non-organic fruits. That’s why it’s wise to choose fresh organic fruit. The high liquids within help cleanse the body of toxins and infuse it with antioxidants, nutrients, fiber and vitals like vitamin C.

2. Leafy organic greens

Kale, spinach, barley, wheatgrass, spirulina, alfalfa, chard, parsley, arugula and beet tops—not only are leafy greens packed with chlorophyll, which eases the digestive tract and many stomach upsets and digestive ailments, it also helps detox the body and liver of harmful environmental toxins—such as smog, heavy metals, herbicides and cleaning harmful chemicals.

3. Organic citrus fruits

Talk about flushing out the toxins, squeeze a slice of organic lemon or lime into your glass of water first thing in the morning and you are literally jump-starting digestive tract with enzymatic processes. Packed with vitamin C, fresh fruits like grapefruit and oranges also flush out liver toxins and boost the body’s intake of vitamin C, a natural immune booster.

4. Organic garlic

A tiny slice of garlic kick starts liver—encouraging the production of vital detoxification enzymes that aid in the filtering out of toxins from the digestive system. If you don’t like garlic on its own, you can easily cook it into hearty sauces and stews.

5. Green tea

My favorite comfort drink and early morning kick-start, a hot cup of green tea, is jam-packed with antioxidants that detoxify the entire body and increase liver function, according to University of Maryland researchers. Plus, you can brew a pot and put it in the refrigerator with sliced lemons and a squeeze of real honey for a healthy, thirst-quenching summer drink.

6. Homemade organic trail mix

Nuts and seeds, such as walnuts, flaxseed, pumpkin seeds, almonds, hemp seeds, sesame seeds, soy nuts and sunflower seeds are excellent for infusing the body with healthy omega-3 oils during a health detox. You can toast them in the oven and add some organic seasonings for a sweet or savory snack. Nuts, seeds, and other heart-healthy foods like hemp, avocado and olive oils aid in detoxifying by lubricating the intestinal walls so that toxins are absorbed by the oil and then quickly eliminated.

Not Looking Back

I’ve never looked back from my decision to switch to organic, fresh food from Mother Nature, and neither has my family. We are living proof that a diet made up of predominantly fresh, plant-based, organic foods will cleanse the body of toxins that would otherwise cause illnesses like the flu, allergies, tooth decay, and even auto immune disease. Our energy and our immune systems have never been stronger simply due to the fact that we’re not exposed to the chemical residue from foods treated with pesticides. I hope this article has been helpful, and happy, healthy eating!

About the Author:

A former kindergarten teacher and now a stay-at-home-mom, Carolyn Holden loves working with and teaching children. Carolyn has gained a lot of mentoring experience over the past 5-years since she decided to home school her 2 children. She is also committed to raising a family in an organic, pesticide free home, and so when she can’t buy organic, you will often find Carolyn rooting in her large garden for the ingredients to make her own soaps, cleaning supplies and nutritious, organic meals and remedies.

An Invitation to post on this site!

If you are a writer who would like to share your insights into natural living to the BetsyDewey.com community, please contact Betsy Dewey by clicking on Contact Me. I welcome guest posts! I would love for you to contribute to my “natural living” blog.  I’d love to know your ideas. I like finding natural ways of doing things that surprise me.  I always think I’ve heard it all, and then I find out about something like cloth menstrual pads or reversing tooth decay naturally. Homebirth and homeschool are natural (and ancient) ways of doing things that are made easier with modern technology – as much as I love the old, natural ways, I also love our modern conveniences and how life has evolved to make us so comfortable! I’d like to make a guest blog a monthly happening, so bring it on! And thank you, Carolyn, for sharing your life-enhancing tips with us.

When women are angry about their hospital birth experience

November 29, 2011 in Blog, Homebirth, Pregnancy with 2 Comments

I read posts and birth stories like this way too often. This woman harbors so much anger toward the people who were careless toward her during the births of her children. She learned about what had really happened to her after the birth. She writes:

“To the nurse who insisted that she had to start Pitocin just because she had also “accidentally” broken my water:

NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. Get the EFF away from me with that Pitocin or there will be hell to pay. That Pitocin is going to hyperstimulate my uterus, put my baby in distress, and ultimately start me on a cascade of risky interventions that will lead to a traumatic surgery that will scar my insides, literally and figuratively, for the rest of my life. PUT IT DOWN AND BACK AWAY! And don’t you DARE try to act like I’m a silly moron for questioning the things you’re putting in my veins.

Many highly trained birth and psychology professionals agree that birth imprints memories on us in a way that can’t be shaken, which can be especially hard to process if they are negative feelings.” – - The Feminist Breeder www.thefeministbreeder.com

As I read this, my heart breaks. It is for this woman and for every woman that I wrote BIRTHRIGHT.  How do I get it into women’s hands before they hate their birth experiences?

Giving birth can be Amazing, gentle, empowering, and even fun

Birthright is a book to empower women during pregnancy and birth – no matter where you choose to give birth. If it’s at home, the book helps you negotiate and prepare for that route. If it’s the hospital, it helps you to prepare yourself and your team to be the authority over your own experience.  There are many things you can do to help ensure you have a wonderful hospital experience – from choosing a doctor who champions natural birth, to putting a sign on your door that says something like: Natural Childbirth in Progress – please do not offer any drugs or intervention.  Enter only if you are totally supportive of this family’s decision.

At the moment my second son was crowning, I had the pure joy of unhindered, unattended birth; the midwife was still 5 minutes away, speeding through the pouring rain. Even I, Ms. Empowered Birth herself, felt the need to ask those around me (my husband, his sister, and my mom) “Can I push?” What in Heaven’s name? Feeling like birth is something we don’t know how to do has been shoved so far into our psyches that even during this precious, coveted, unattended moment of birthing like a walrus, a horse or a monkey, I felt the need to ask if I could push. No one answered, so I pushed heaven out in a river of amniotic fluid right there on my bed. I still remember feeling disempowered though!

Birthright seeks to change this forever, to bring birth back to the mother, and to render the majority of births gentle and intervention free. For all of the women out there who have yet to give birth, you need to know that giving birth can be the most amazing thing you will ever do. The births of my two sons stand together as the two greatest days of my life without a doubt.

Please help me educate young women about the possibility of owning birth. Give Birthright to every pregnant woman on the planet.  Please forward this post.  Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks that gentle, conscious, empowered birth would make the world a much better place.  :-D

How to help soothe your teething baby naturally

November 27, 2011 in Advice/Wisdom, Blog, Natural Living, Parenting with 2 Comments

Teething.  Uggh.  Some say that runny noses, fever, and lethargy are not symptoms of teething.  I say – they’re totally wrong.  Every time my babies were cutting teeth, they got cranky, feverish and had super-runny noses.  Whether the teething leaves them susceptible to colds or whether teething is the cause of these symptoms, I can’t say.  However I can tell you what has always helped to ease the suffering.

Homeopathics work

By far and away, the items that helped to soothe my teething children are homeopathic teething remedies – the little pills, the gels, and the liquids.  The best are Hyland’s teething tablets.  Because they contain belladonna, they have been temporarily and absurdly taken off the shelves of stores.  However, the gel is still available and works wonders.  You need to use it a lot. Every two hours, squirt a little on your clean finger and put it in your baby’s mouth.  You’re supposed to put it on their gums, but I found that just getting in their mouths did the trick.

Teething tablets to head off ear infections? Yes!

One time we called the local pharmacy fearing an ear infection.  Our baby had been tugging on his ears and had a fever.  The wise woman asked if he had been teething.  We said that indeed he had.  She said to give him the homeopathic teething tablets religiously every two hours and that it would probably all clear up.  They recommend the teething tablets whenever there is teething plus: ear aches, fever, crankiness, etc.  She swore by it, and so do I.  When your baby starts teething, stock up on homeopathics and use them liberally!

Where do you get homeopathic medicine?  Health food stores and forward thinking pharmacies.  I also saw the teething gel at Target recently.  The two brands I have seen and used are Hyland and Boiron.  Amazing stuff.  Especially considering that it’s inert and has zero side effects.

Cold and Hard?

The other natural thing that people do is give their babies something cold and hard to gnaw on.  I never found this to be very useful, but it might work for you.  Instead of spending $ on plastic, ooze-filled teethers, you might try wetting a rag and sticking it in your freezer.  Some parents find that this is soothing to their children.  Not mine.  They weren’t interested in a frozen rag or a $10 teether.  Frozen blueberries and bananas are just always a big favorite, teething or not.

Breastfeeding!

Breastfeeding, and lots of it, was also a big hit when teething was a issue.  And parents – if you ever find yourself taking off or landing in an airplane with a screaming baby, nursing is a magical trick.  Sucking helps to regulate pressure in the ears.  It can be so hard to be a baby.

Amber Bracelets?

Reader, Karina, brought this one up to be. I’ve been seeing so many babies lately wearing amber necklaces and bracelets, and I had no idea that it’s supposed to ease teething! Thanks, Karina! Plus, the necklaces are just so pretty and cute.

Extra patience and compassion is also key

When your baby is cranky and inconsolable, above all they need your patience. Losing it only exacerbates the mayhem. I think that for two years, every time I couldn’t figure out why my baby was crying, I assumed he was teething. I felt sorry for him and gave him homeopathics.  If he was in a phase of waking up every two hours, once again - must be teething, poor dear. In hind site, I think this is a good default. Your baby is always teething, poor dear. Bless their little heart, hold them, nurse them, dose them with homeopathic teething medicine, nurse them again. They are learning at a deep level that when they feel bad, they won’t be alone, that they are loved, and that their needs will be met.  Your personality is being chiseled your first six years. Teething is the weather and you are Rodin. And as for the teething, this too shall pass.

Does the Cure Tooth Decay Diet work?

November 15, 2011 in Advice/Wisdom, Blog, Natural Living, Parenting with 29 Comments

After three months of the Cure Tooth Decay diet, followed somewhat loosely, the news is good.  Does it work?  Well, the verdict is YES, but read on.

July's right side x-ray

October's right side x-ray

 

July's left side x-ray

October's left side x-ray

For those of you just joining the tooth decay saga, the first post was 8 Cavities, 1 Petit Four and Some Fish Head Stew or Cure Your Own Tooth Decay. And the second was Don’t call me crunchy – or Abracadabra, no more cavities!

We did pretty well, but…

We could have done better.  We took out sugar almost entirely.  Seriously.  My 5 year-old had a piece of dark chocolate about once a week, which is allowed on the diet.  We eliminated wheat except for the occasional flour tortilla and we started baking sour dough bread.  We dropped the oatmeal.  We took cod liver oil, skate liver oil, and butter oil, but I realize in hindsight we probably should have been doing this twice daily.  We ate shellfish and fish, but not as often as we should have.  We started drinking raw milk.  We made bone broth soups, once again not consuming it with the frequency suggested by the book.  We never ate liver even though according to Cure Tooth Decay, liver is practically a magical food when it comes to remineralizing teeth.  And I’m sad to admit, I never made the fish head stew, even though we had ample access to fish heads.  I feel like I’m in a confessional, although I must confess that I’ve never been in one, so I just think this must be what it feels like: a little guilty.

My little guy was stellar.  If there were crackers at a gathering, he’d ask, “Mom, can I have these?” If the answer was “No, sorry honey,” that was fine with him.  He was totally on board with the diet.  He really doesn’t want to have rotten teeth.  I’m the one who didn’t serve liver.  Well, I did serve liver pate once, and I was the only one who ate any.

Okay – so here’s what happened at the dentist:

She had no idea that we’d been following a diet.  We just showed up 3 months after his initial x-rays.  She looked in his mouth and then over at the 3 month-old x-rays and said to herself, “Hmmm.  They really don’t look that bad.”  She must have been talking about the two visible biggies.  In other words, they had improved!  Just as I suspected.  I mean, I can see that they have kind of filled in with gum tissue – no more gaping, gray, mushy holes.

Then I chimed in and said, “Oh, we want to take new x-rays.”  She complied.  As we were comparing the two sets of x-rays, I came clean and told her about the diet to remineralize my son’s teeth.  She said that she had heard that it’s possible to remineralize teeth, but not if the decay is down into the pulp of the tooth.  ”That would be impossible,” she said.  What I wanted to hear and to report to you is that the six little ones were gone and that the two biggies had greatly improved.

She said that two of the tiny cavities were gone.

But she still recommended filling the other six.  She did not mention her initial positive visual reaction to the x-rays again.  My opinion of this dentist is that she is very aggressive, meaning she really likes to drill!  So now, have a look up at those x-rays.  Start with the left side upper (The second set of photos above).  We’re talking about those tiny little gray marks right where the teeth touch together.  The one on the upper right side of the photo really is gone!  The other upper and the lower right side of the photo really do look improved.  Granted, I’m no x-ray technician, but I don’t think it takes one to see the improvement.  It’s hard to tell from the x-ray if that biggie on his left side has gotten better or worse.  On the x-rays of the right side, the upper teeth didn’t look bad at all to begin with, so it irritates me that the dentist originally wanted to drill on those anyway.  The lower little one looks about the same.  The biggie there on the bottom actually looks worse to me in the x-ray.

The dentist admitted that two were gone, but her treatment plan for the other six is to do fillings to the tune of $2300.  Our plan at this point is to resume the diet after totally blowing it after Halloween and two birthday parties.  We will double up on the fish oil, eat more soup and shellfish, and I will disregard the faces my family gives me and make fish head stew.  There.  No more dentist for now.  If Sugarbooger starts to feel pain or if the biggies get visibly worse, I’ll be sending an email out to all the cool homeschool families out there requesting their recommendations for a holistic dentist.

I hope yall find this to be informational enough.  I really wish I could say that we ate shellfish twice a week, took cod liver oil twice a day, and ate loads of liver and fish head soup, because then I’d really know what the effects of the diet are.  I feel confident that the diet works considering we did a pretty good job of following it and at least two out of eight cavities healed themselves.  Where we excelled was in what we didn’t eat and I feel good about that, especially since I read this quote the other day:

Following a diet begins with what you don’t eat.

Believe me, I’ll be letting you know if things improve or deteriorate as we continue eating these nutrient rich foods.  I looked into what I should be eating for joint health recently, and it happens to be the same stuff.  These cavities might really be the best thing that’s ever happened to us.  I’ll let you know how my joints are holding up in another 35 years or so.

I’d also LOVE to get some dentist’s thoughts on all of the above.  Please forward it to your dentist buddies.   :-D

 

My “Tribute to Homeschool Chess Club” Guest Post

November 11, 2011 in Blog, Homeschool, Parenting with 0 Comments

One night I was playing my first complete game of chess with my son.  I love the game!  I’d give anything to have discovered it as a kid.  Anyway, it was getting late, way past bedtime.  Both of us had been focusing on pawn promotion, when I looked down and saw it.  Checkmate.  I certainly didn’t have any great desire to beat my 4 year-old at chess, but there it was, and we needed to go to bed.

I said, “Oh, no, Sweetheart.  I just looked up and saw that I’ve got your king cornered.  I think I say – ‘checkmate?’”

His eyes darted around the board as he proclaimed, “There must be something I can do.”  But then he saw it too.  For a moment he looked crestfallen, head hung low.  He sighed a little, and then, without even looking up at me, his little hand shot out over the board across to me in the gesture of a handshake.  With a very straight face that betrayed his understated disappointment he said, “Good game, Mom.”

Tears came to my eyes.  Chess club had already worked its magic.  At this point, it would all be icing.

Good Game

I’ve written this bit as a guest post on my friend, Terri’s website.  I live in a metropolitan area that has a huge homeschooling community from which we draw 30-60 young chess players.  I get the feeling that Dominica, the little island on which Terri resides, might not be offering this amazing opportunity as part of the local homeschool experience.  In fact, I know that most kids everywhere don’t participate in chess clubs.  It never would have crossed my mind.  I mean, I didn’t even play chess until we found chess club.

For more on the benefits of chess club and for the rest of this post, please visit:

http://onelovelivity.com/childofnatureblog/?p=2720

I love this website!  Dominica is  the small island in the Caribbean where Terri Henry resides.  She likes to write and share about things like natural birth, tandem nursing, cloth diapers, homeschooling, natural living, and gratitude.  Sound familiar?  Enjoy One Love Livity and Child of Nature Isle.

http://onelovelivity.com/childofnatureblog/?p=2720

 

Update, loves

November 8, 2011 in Blog with 2 Comments

Quality over Quantity Every Time

Howdy to all of you who find my writing worth reading.  You may be wondering where I’ve been lately, as my posts are few and far between.  There are several reasons really.  One is now that the initial love affair with my website has cooled to a more mature relationship, I honestly have trouble making time to write.  We’ve been traveling lately, and I am overwhelmed by the thrill of homeschooling.  I try to keep a tidy house (ha ha ha!!!) and to keep NOW constantly fun and exciting for my children.  Life is so full and joyful.  There is little time to write.  I also feel very strongly that I only want to post exceptional content.  I will opt for quality over quantity every time.  I have written several posts which are just sitting there and will very likely never get posted.  They just aren’t that good.

I’ve also been writing in other places!  I’ve written a guest post on Homeschool Chess Club for a friend of mine to post on her website.  I will post a tease and link to her website the day she posts it – probably this Thursday or Friday.  Many of you will be stoked to come across Terri’s website if you haven’t already.

I am writing a post for Mothering.com about my book.  I have been asked to write an article for a phenomenal magazine called Pathways to Family Wellness.  On Monday, I am going to give a presentation on homeschooling to a University class entitled “Public Education: Promises and Perils”.  Holy cow, I hope what I have to say matters to 19-year-olds.

I have also decided that I want to donate 5% of the proceeds from my book, Birthright, to scholarships for midwifery students.  So please buy BIRTHRIGHT as your Christmas gifts this season!

I have also decided that I am going to shadow some doulas in their work in the trenches (hospitals).  It might be something I want to pursue.

So, as you can see – I am not neglecting you.  I appreciate you and I honor your time and attention.  And, for those of you who are wondering – we did see some success at the dentist!  I’ll be posting about it soon.

I wrap you in golden light.  Keep your thoughts only on what you want to create.

Blessings and Namaste,

Betsy

10 Things Autistic kids wish you knew

October 27, 2011 in Advice/Wisdom, Blog, Natural Living, Parenting with 0 Comments

If you only have time to read one blog post right now, just go ahead and read this: My Broken Heart. Otherwise, carry on.  I link to it again at the end.

Autism Awareness

Parents of autistic children are exhausted.  When their wells run dry, they start digging.  Often, autistic children don’t sleep well or much.  Their extraordinarily sleep deprived parents are desperately trying to “reach” them and help them to belong in “our” world as much as they can by the time the child is six, when some say that the window closes.  They’ve grieved things like graduations, weddings, slumber parties, and friendships – things we didn’t even know one would ever need to grieve.  How can we help support them?  Listen, learn, love, and be patient?  Yes.  But we also need to assure them that we, as a nation will take care of their children after they are gone.  These kids can’t just end up homeless.  Not on our watch.

I have a very soft place in my heart for people who are affected by autism.  I grew up next door to a severely autistic boy and one of my best friends has an autistic daughter.  I’m not aware of anything harder for a family to manage, although I’m sure there are other special needs which fall into the same boat.  The emotional and physical challenges that these parents face are unimaginable for the rest of us.  In spite of all of the grief, some parents manage to step up and grow beyond, to that place where only huge challenge can lead us to go.  There they somehow find enough peace to set out to create a world more fit for their children.

Autism awareness has always been a part of my life.  The other night we were at a restaurant playscape with a bunch of kids.  I saw an older boy arrive on the scene.  His autism was apparent to me, but not to the other parents.  The boy was exuberantly blocking the slide.  Some of the other parents began to look concerned.  I just knew that somewhere in the restaurant there was a courageous mother and/or father looking on thinking, “You can do this.  You can do this.  My child wants to and can play in a social environment.”  I figured it wouldn’t last long.  Soon, the boy was gone.

I heard recently that if you have to spend time in a wheel chair, people will at first look at you funny and then just look away.  It’s as if when we see someone with some type of affliction, we want to pretend that they are not there, that we haven’t noticed, in some feeble attempt to avoid causing any strange feelings.  What you learn from the wheel chair is that people are people.  We all want to be acknowledged, smiled at, and spoken to.

Autistic people experience the world differently than we do, but it’s still their world too.  They don’t adhere to the social dogmas and constrictions of inhibitions like we do.  It can make us uncomfortable.  Often, we don’t experience autistic people at all because many of them are simply too overwhelmed by public situations to even come join.  But when they do, I hope that autism awareness will have reached enough of us to where we open our energetic selves, arms, and smiles – welcoming the autistic, their families, and anyone with differences.

The latest statistics of which I am aware are that 1 in 155 children is diagnosed with autism.  1 in 100 for boys.  There is no consensus on what is causing these numbers.  What we do know is that families with Autism have challenges that make the rest of ours look like hopscotch.  I came across this beautiful post by a father who is raising 3 children with autism.  I felt that soft spot in my heart again as tears warmed my cheeks.  With his permission, I am posting it for my readers.  - Betsy Dewey

 

10 Things my Autistic kids wished you knew

Written by me, Rob Gorski (Lost and Tired) and dedicated to my amazingly beautiful children.

1. I’m sorry I have fits but I’m not a spoiled brat. I’m just so much younger on the inside than I am on the outside.

2. I’m easily overwhelmed because I see and hear everything. I hear the lights hum and clock tick. Everything is so loud it makes my head hurt all the time and my eyes hurt from all the bright lights.

3. I’m not stupid, I’m actually very smart. I just don’t learn the way you want me to. Please learn about Autism so you know how to help me better understand what you are trying to teach.

4. Please don’t be mad at mommy and daddy because we don’t come over for holidays or birthdays. They really want to go but I don’t do well at another person’s house. It’s too overwhelming for me and they know that. They don’t go because they love me, NOT because they don’t like you.

5. Please have patience with me. I try really hard to make good decisions but I can be very impulsive at times.

6. Yes, I have Autism but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person because of it. If anything, I’m actually more of a person in spite of it.

7. My house might be messy sometimes. It’s because my mommy and daddy spend all their time trying to find new ways to help me or teach my brother to talk..

8. Just because I can’t talk doesn’t mean I don’t understand what you are saying. My feelings can be hurt just like yours.

9. I wish my mommy and daddy knew how much I love them. I have a really hard time with emotions and I don’t always like to be touched. But I love them more than anything in the world, even more then my Lego’s.

10. I know I can be frustrating but don’t tell me I won’t amount to anything because I have Autism. If you love and support me I WILL do great things in my life in spite of my challenges.

If you liked this piece, please read My Broken Heart or Thank You For Judging Me, you may appreciate these as well.

 

PS from Betsy – We need to do everything we can as a society to make the various therapies for Autism available to families who can not afford them.  The price tag is hefty.  I believe in small government, but I also believe that our small government (AKA - we) should do everything humanly possible to help those who are truly in need.  Our nation is going to be faced more and more with the question of what to do for all of these children with Autism as they grow up.  All of us need to concern ourselves.  My friend’s financial advisor told her that if they can set aside $5,000,000, it should be enough to make sure their daughter has all of her needs met until she dies.  My friend happens to be married to a brain surgeon.  What about everyone else?

PSS from Betsy – Well, dadgummit.  I’ve just gone and read My Broken Heart and my post pales in importance.  Please read it.  In an unexpected way, it will make your patience run deep and wide, and just might put your whole life into perspective.  It just changed me.  I can feel it.  Thank you, Rob.  Blessings on you, your family, and all of us.

 

BIRTHRIGHT is the first book to get when you’re pregnant

October 6, 2011 in Blog, Homebirth, Natural Living, Parenting, Pregnancy with 1 Comment

There is a book out there that presumes to tell you what you should expect when you are pregnant.  There’s nothing wrong with checking in and seeing where you’re “supposed” to be from time to time, but sadly this book is often the only one pregnant women end up owning.  It’s unfortunate because this book scares you.  It makes you think that things are supposed to be one way or another by throwing out averages and tendencies.  It answers “questions” about anomalies during pregnancy that make you paranoid about the health of your child.  The last thing you need when you are pregnant is to be afraid.

Birthright is a book to empower you and make you feel good about being pregnant and giving birth.  Empowered birth is your birthright.  Only your child and your birth are normal for you.  Instead of telling you what your body should be doing on a timeline, Birthright educates you about healthy eating, exercise, and choices during pregnancy.  It teaches you about labor, pain perception, having an empowered birth experience, midwives, hospital birth, homebirth, and alternatives you have when it comes to birth and beyond.

It is an easy, friendly read that makes a great gift for any woman who is pregnant or trying to be.  There is even a section on fertility and things that anyone can do to increase it naturally.

Secret Information?

Birthright is my gift to women and babies everywhere.  I learned so much information from my midwives that seemed like secret information.  It’s not secret.  But most women never get the opportunity to know it, and it is my goal to change that.

From the fact that a healthy human pregnancy might normally have a gestation of 42 weeks rather than the medically accepted 40 weeks, to how to breast feed, to preparing yourself to give birth naturally, Birthright teaches it all.

Midwives rock.  And if you don’t have the fortune to have one, let me share their age-old wisdom with you.  Introducing Birthright. May we birth with gentleness, reverence, and love.

Nature still. Lose the screens.

October 3, 2011 in Advice/Wisdom, Blog, Natural Living, Spirituality with 0 Comments

Nature still.  Perhaps modern society changes our brains, our communication needs.  Maybe it dulls or sharpens our natural sensibilities.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that She is still there.  There to be drawn from and comforted by.

Go out.  Go out and lay. Lay in the moonlight.  Feel the Earth beneath you.

No matter how many generations we have of screens, television, social media, and gaming, our DNA is riled with nature.  She calls us.  And that will never go away.

When you see the fire dancing before you as you sit with friends in the woods, when you see the moonlight interrupted by leaves and tree branches or reflected on water, you will remember that time long ago, deep in your cells, when you were close to the Earth, when God was a necessity and family was everything.  Survival.

Things have changed.  It’s not as hard or as easy as it once was.  We now have everything we need.  Most of us have food, security, comfort, comradery.  Now, instead of fighting to survive, we are fighting to remember.  To remember what it is to be truly human.

Lose the screens.  Put your phone in a drawer.  Hold your children and listen to them say, “I love you.  I love you. I love you.”  Say back, “My child, my child, my child, I love you.  I love you.  I love you.”  Require intimacy in your life.  Give it freely.  All you have is now.

And then go get your tush back out into the world and sell us your stuff.  This is America.  And there is no place like her on Earth.

We are America and we must be the watchdogs.  Pay attention people.

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